Star War changed my life.

Most of you didn’t knew about it but I sincerely mean it when I say that Star Wars changed my life. It al began around the year 1999. Before that everything was a blur until my parents brought me to the theatre to see Star Wars Episode I , the phantom Menace. From that moment on I didn’t felt like a dork anymore, I wanted to travel to the stars , meet new species and fight the evil empire. The Star Wars movies gave me a feeling like I have never felt before, better then a orgasm and better then having a (nagging) relationship. Star Wars really changed my life for the good, It made me turn back from the dark side. How cool is it to fly a Star cruiser or kill innocent people with your lightsaber? When technology is far enough developed to make lightsabers I’m going the be the first one to have it. Its much better then a gun, more satisfying then a normal sword. The feeling to deflect blaster shots and defend yourself against another lightsaber is indescribable.


Star Wars gave me hope, it made me believe there was something stronger and better then any religion, the Force. The Force wont let you down and isn’t made up from little fairytales. The Force can guide you trough al your problems and satisfy all your needs. The Force can let you fall into deep darkness, or show you the light to the chosen one. The sith is an evil race, yes it’s a specie, most of you thought that the sith where the sith lords you saw in the movie, That was a lie, an illusion. The sith was an ancient and powerful species who learned to manipulate and use the Force trough Alchemy.


Jabba the Hutt, yes Jabba The Hutt. When I was young I didn’t really understood what the obese people said until the moment I sawr Jabba The Hutt, it made all things clear, they where Huttese, slimy and lazy just like your mom. Star Wars is something you do when you are alone and excited, it only takes one hand when you finished a Star Wars movie, one hand. Most of you thought that the new pope looks very familiar, yes that’s true he isn’t what he makes you think he is, he’s actually an evil Sith Lord in disguise and trying to rule the whole galaxy by the year 2012, ironic isn’t it?


Here are a few reasons why Star Wars changed my life


1. It made me spend more then a few hundred euro’s for al the things that I bought.
2. It made me believe that hairy people are actually wookies.
3. It made me realize that in the galaxy far far away nobody goes to the bathroom.
4. It made me realize that the translation of Star Wars in dutch ‘Ruimteoorlogen’ sounds VERY dorky.
5. It made me realize that maybe in the center of our galaxy there is a core planet called Coruscant where the Jedi Council and the Galactic Senate is seated.
6. It made me realize that the real ghetto is Nar Shaddaa and not Rotterdam South
7. At first I wasn’t getting any (if you know what I mean) , the moment you speak Huttese you become a pimp and al those woman who are sitting next to you are like Leia was for Jabba the Hutt.
8. It made me learn a couple of new words from other languages…. Achuta!
9. It made me realize that they weren’t racist against black people or religious people, but only to aliens.
10. It made me realize that it makes you really are DORK if you cant pronounce Coruscant right....

Star Wars is just one big fat greasy orgasm for people like us. Something you wont get from a Star Wars hater or Lord of the Rings fan (but they are still awesome in a dorky way).


Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


On which side are you ?